Share 'Opinions on my lyrics? (A different verse)'

Once again. "I'm too broke to afford recording equipment. So, all I can do is write and recite. I've been writing with my brother for at least 3 years now. I never really took it seriously until now. I just want to know your guys' honest opinions on my lyrics. Any feedback would be appreciated (positive or negative)." This is a verse I wrote for a song I plan on doing with other local rappers ab…