OFFICIAL JOKE THREAD:

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Permalink Reply by J9X on May 7, 2009 at 4:02pm

nacho cheese.


why don't dinosaurs build sandcastles?
because their extinct.

why did the bike fall over?
because it was two tired. haha

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Permalink Reply by נ●иʊ††ч on May 7, 2009 at 4:05pm

THIS MAN GOES TO THE DOCTOR BECAUSE HE CANT GET A HARD ON ANY MORE.

THE DOCTOR TELLS HIM "WELL, IT LOOKS LIKE ALL THE MUSCLE AND NERVES ARE COMPLETLY DEAD, THERES NOTHING WE CAN DO FOR YOU."

THE MAN AND HIS WIFE ARE VERY SAD, THEY ASK THE DOCTOR "ARE YOU SURE THESE NOTHING ?"

DOCTOR SAYS "WELL, THERES ONE THING, BUT ITS EXPERIMENTAL AND ITS RISKY, WERE GOING TO TAKE THE MUSCLES AND NERVES FROM A BABY ELEPHANTS TRUNK, AND IMPLANT THEM INTO YOUR PENIS."

THE MAN AND HIS WIFE AGREE TO IT, AND THE SURGERY IS DONE.

2 WEEKS LATER AND NOTHING HAS HAPPEND, AND ALL OF A SUDDEN AT THE DINNER TABLE, THE MAN FEELS IT MOVE, SO HE PULLS IT OUT AND IT FLOPS ON TO THE DINNER TABLE WITH A MIND OF ITS OWN, AND HE AND HIS WIFE STARE AT IT AMAZED, THE PENIS THEN REACHES ABOUT AND GRABS A DINNER ROLL AND TAKES IT BACK INTO HIS PANTS.

THE WIFE IS IN SHOCK AND EXCITED AND SAYS "HONEY ! PLEASE DO THAT AGAIN !!"

THE MAN THEN SAYS WITH TEARS IN HIS EYES "I WOULD HONEY, BUT I CANT FIT ANOTHER DINNER ROLL UP MY ASS AGAIN !"

LMAO!!!

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Permalink Reply by נ●иʊ††ч on May 7, 2009 at 4:12pm

A MAN WHO WORKS AT A PICKLE FACTORY COMES HOME TO HIS WIFE ONE DAY, AND SITS DOWN AND PLAYS WITH HIS COCK, HIS WIFE ASKS HIM "WHY ARE YOU DOING THAT ?"

HE SAYS, "WELL, I HAVE THIS WIERD FEELING AND TEMPTATION TO STICK MY COCK IN THE PICKLE SLICER"

HIS WIFE YELLS AT HIM, "YOU BETTER NOT, YOU WILL GET HURT AND FIRED AND WE CANT AFFORD TO HAVE THAT, SO PLEASE STOP THINKING ABOUT THAT !"

HE TELLS HIS WIFE "OK, OK, ILL TRY, BUT ITS HARD NOT TO THINK OF IT."

SO THIS CONTINUES FOR SEVERAL DAYS.

FINALLY THE MAN COMES HOME EARLY, AND HIS WIFE SAYS "O, NO, DONT TELL ME YOU STUCK YOUR COCK IN THE PICKLE SLICER AND GOT FIRED ??"

THE MAN SAYS, "YES, YES I DID, AND I GOT CAUGHT"

THE WIFE SAYS "SO WHAT DID THEY DO TO THE PICKLE SLICER ?"

THE MAN SAYS "O, THEY FIRED HER TO !"

LOL!!

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Permalink Reply by David on May 7, 2009 at 4:43pm

What did the left butt cheek say to the right?

A. If we stick together we can put an end to this shit.

Why did mickey break up with minnie?

A. She was fuckin goofy

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Permalink Reply by Demon9ne on May 7, 2009 at 6:43pm

Q: How did the Scotsman find the sheep in the tall grass?

A: Very satisfying.

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Permalink Reply by angHell on May 7, 2009 at 7:15pm

Why are nazis never DJ's.

Cause they cannot realise the difference between 33 and 45.

Buahahaha!

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Permalink Reply by LTB on May 7, 2009 at 7:41pm

What do you call 500,000 white guys jumping out of a plane?
Snow.

How long does it take for a white women to take a crap???
9 months

What's the flattest surface to iron your jeans on?
A white girl's ass!

What do you call a White man with a sheep under each arm?
A Pimp.

How many white girls does it take to screw in a light?
None, white girls can't screw

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Permalink Reply by Spade on May 7, 2009 at 10:11pm

lmao yall muther fuckers r crazy.

married couples laying n bed one night and the husband looks at the wife and says "baby im really horny,can i 69 with you" wife says "nooo im on my period and thats just gross baby" the husband begs for 5 mins and swears it will only happen once...the wife gives in and says "ok just this once"...10 minute sinto it somebody downstairs knocks on the front door.the husband throws the wife off of him and runs into the bathroom exclaiming to the wife that he needs to clean off his face b4 he answers the doors.she says "no it could be so and so ,please hurry just tell them u were eating a jelly sandwich" so the husband runs downstairs with period blood still on his face,andswers the door and says "oh hey man sorry it took so long.i was just eating a jelly sandwich cuz i was starving"...as hes being stared at the husband says "is everything ok"...the guy at the door says "oh yeah everythings fine sir i just noticed you still had some peanut butter on your forehead" ....lmao

Q:ever wondered wat it looks like for two relly old people to have sex?
A:u ever tried peeling apart a grilled ham n cheese sandwich?

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Permalink Reply by CutThroatWhiteBoy on May 8, 2009 at 12:08pm

what do hockey player and black bitches have in common???

they both change their pads after 3 periods

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Permalink Reply by Spade on May 8, 2009 at 4:06pm

lmao

how do u stop 5 black thugs from raping a white girl?
throw em a basketball

there was this smart blonde one time....(thats the joke)

theres a mexican,a texan and a jamaican stuck in a wooden boat out in the middle of the ocean.the jamaican lights up a fat blunt,take 2 hits and throws it into the ocean.the texan says "why the fuck did u get rid of that?!"...jamacian says "oh we got plenty of those in my country,we can get more".....then the mexican pulls out a bottle of tequila,takes 2 gulps and throws it out into the ocean.agan the texan yells "wtf did u get rid of that?!" the mexaican says "oh yea senor we got plenty of those in my country,we can get more"....then the jamaican notices the texan sitting there n silence,and then asks the texan "so what do you have in your country that u can get rid of?"...the texan looks around,grabs the mexican and throws him in the fuckin ocean lmao

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