This is a track I just finished yesterday. It's a song about being consumed by your burdens, what ever they may be. I wrote the beat and lyrics as well as mixed the track. Criticism and tips would be extremely appreciated.

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i fux with this...nice beat, flow, and chorus...good shit

 

Overall I like this track. I think your chorus is wonderful, although I was taken way off guard with your cadence beginning in the first verse. It could be because it's drastically different than the chorus or it could be because I haven't heard enough of your music to get your style. 

Some of your words get a little muddled for me and they are hard to understand. In particular, it seems to be the SH words like "She", or it could be just the S sound actually. Whatever it is, it's probably just an enunciation thing. I like the track though. Good job.
i like it. like homie said the "S" sound needs a little work but other than that its a great song. very creative and ur flows good as well. maybe you could have a guest spot as a 3rd verse? might be dope if u can find the right feature.
nice song, keep workin at it.
Thanks for the support! I would have to agree that my enunciation is a point to work on, but I'm sure with enough time and effort it's nothing that can't be overcome. I like the idea of a guest spot, though I don't know many people who are down to write a serious story driven type verse.
i really like this track actually. The 2nd verse has a few parts where it seemed like you had to rush it a bit but this is solid. u got an mp3 for this, coz i'm really liking this. i'd want to collab but my chances to record are few and far between
damn this is badass bro.... i love the chorus and the beat especially
Ya I got an MP3, but it's over 5MB so I'd have to email it to you. While the second verse is personally my favorite, I think your right that at certain lines it sounds a bit rushed. Just a minor detail but thanks for pointing it out! Criticism is much appreciated! 

a tie a said:
i really like this track actually. The 2nd verse has a few parts where it seemed like you had to rush it a bit but this is solid. u got an mp3 for this, coz i'm really liking this. i'd want to collab but my chances to record are few and far between
sickness.
nice work homie.  not just a verse on a random beat.  a real song with a vibe that you created...the hook and everything. u one of the only people on here that ive seen that from...i think you'd dig the track i made cause ur style..check it out maybe we can collab or somethin.  Mind Fucked (Prod. by Slantize)
I'd be down to collab for sure. I got a song in mind too, just hit me up and I can send you the lyrics. Check out my other track, Faded Away and tell me what you think.

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